Laying Abuelo to Rest

Abuela, me and Abuelo at my Law School Graduation

As many of you know, my family lost a great man two days before Christmas when my abuelo lost his battle with dementia and passed away.  It wasn't the happiest or merriest Christmas to date to say the least but we all know he's in a better place and that's a good thing.

Today we laid my sweet abuelo to rest with a beautiful bilingual service at Our Lady of the Assumption  Church and I had the honor of giving a eulogy.  When my mother asked me to do it earlier this week I felt up for the challenge.  However, little can prepare you for the emotions that overcome in the moment so sadly I gave quite a tearful eulogy.  It didn't help that I went after my mom's eulogy in Spanish.  Add in an easily emotional pregnant girl to the mix and you've got a recipe for tears.  What can I say... I tried.

Anyway, as I sat down to blog about today I thought my words from earlier pretty much sum up what I would've wanted to write about abuelo's passing so I thought I'd share the message from earlier - and in case any of you were there here's what I tried to say through the tears.

Also- thank you again to all of you who have sent beautiful messages and cards and to everyone who was there today.  Your words and kindness have meant so much to me and my family.

So here's what I said...

It’s sometimes hard to put into words what someone means to you when they’re alive.    Too often the phrase I love you doesn’t get exchanged between family members because it’s too mushy a phrase or whatever the reason, but there’s one thing for certain as I reflect on the life of my abuelo and in the simplest terms I loved him.  We all did and he loved all of us.  

He was such a sweet man who truly cared for all he came into contact with.  My abuelo always had a soft spot for brothers and me and then you could always see the sparkle in his eye when my nephews came along.  He just loved playing with us and being around us.  Some of my fondest memories from childhood are the family beach trips we would take every year down to Panama City or Destin, FL and my abuelo and abuela would come with us.  Abuela was inevitably sitting in the shade but you couldn’t hold abuelo back.  He’d see us in the ocean or in the pool and next thing you know he’d be right there with us fearlessly diving into the water – and this was in his 70s!  I was always proud of my abuelo when I’d notice the stares of amazement by people around us who couldn’t believe someone his age was just diving in deep water like that.  He just loved the water and loved being near us kids.

And I always knew how proud he was of all us when we achieved anything.  You could see it on his face when he’d stand by us on our graduation days and weddings or proudly introduce us to his friends at the Cuban Club.  In short, he was such a wonderful grandfather.   And I know I can say that on behalf of all my brothers.

And boy was he a good Christian.  I believe the phrase we liked to use around the Magid household for people like him was – “he earned his brownie points for a ticket to heaven while on he was on Earth.” 

I remember one night not too far back before his dementia took his mind he was at my parent’s house complaining – yes, he did complain sometimes (and that would be a trait I sadly inherited) that he needed to go home because he had to say his nightly prayers.  I noticed he had a slip of paper with him with a bunch of names scribbled on it.  My name was on it, my husband’s name, all my family members and a lot of his friends’ names were on it.  There were so many names including a bunch of people I’d never heard of.  It was then that I learned my abuelo had a nightly ritual.  He would go into his room and say a prayer for each of those people on that list.  He even said a prayer for Osama Bin Laden if you can believe it.  

I assume he prayed for our good health, happiness and fortune but I stood there that day amazed.  No wonder he had to go home.  It must have taken him hours to individually pray for that many people.  It was comforting to know he was putting in a prayer to the big guy upstairs for me every night.  Perhaps that’s why my family has always been so blessed. 

And that’s the kind of man I will always remember.  The selfless grandfather and wonderful father and husband to my mom and abuela who left his beloved Cuba for a country he’d never seen before in hopes that his daughter could have a better life – a life free from a communist dictator where her hopes and dreams could become reality.  Even if it meant he’d never return home and he’d never see his own father alive again.  Not to mention the obstacles he faced in this country with a language barrier and all possessions he forfeited behind him in Cuba.

My grandfather used to tell me that he wanted me to become a lawyer so I could go back to Cuba and reclaim the family property.  My family owned farmland and beach property on an island off the coast of Cuba.  I used to see pictures of my grandfather riding on a horse across the family ranch.  He would tell me that if Castro had not come to power and taken their land we would have had property on the beach.  It sounded amazing and I can only imagine how hard it was to leave a country that you loved so much with nothing when you remembered having so much at one point. 

And that’s one thing that makes me smile today.  I know he’s at home in heaven and his dementia and confusion are gone and he’s at peace.  He’s probably riding a horse in his Cuba in the sky… or driving a car (because we all know how much it killed him to not be able to drive anymore). 

But whatever he’s doing, I know we’ll see him again one day and until then we can all rest assured knowing that we now have a very special Christmas angel who will continuously be looking out for us and going through his daily prayer list for each of us to have happiness and health all the days of our lives until we meet him again.

Rest in peace abuelo.    We love you, we’ll miss you but we’ll be seeing you.